By George V Howe

Well my furry fanatics, it’s time to settle this once and for all. Considering the divisiveness of our times, I’d thought I’d add one more topic to debate: dogs vs. cats. I don’t think this will rise to the level of Red Sox vs. Yankees, Hamilton vs. Burr, or even Taylor Swift vs. Kanye West…more like Road Runner vs. Wile E. Coyote. I know most of you own a four-legged animal or two (some three-legged as well) so I’d like to hear some feedback. I may regret that last sentence because opinions are like litter boxes – everyone’s got one and most of them stink. Badump bump.

I’ve played on both sides of this fence but admittedly am a dog kind of guy. We currently own a 6 year-old bulldog (Bogey), and as much as her vet bills may someday surpass my kid’s college tuition bills, we couldn’t envision life without her. On the flip side, it’s been a while since I’ve shared the same roof with a cat, probably 40+ years, which I guess highlights my affinity for tail-wagging and slobberishness. That, and the fact that I don’t remember “Pajamas & Slippers” that much, other than the fact they “disappeared” one day, according to Mom. And not to pile on my feline friends but I’m also allergic…so there’s that!

But let’s break it down.

For dog lovers, I get it. Dogs are loyal, playful and think you’re a God. They are mostly pure-hearted goofballs who just want to please you. And extra credit for not judging your dance moves. As I mentioned, we have a bulldog, not exactly known for bouts of high-energy or anything remotely resembling exercise. After eating and then doing what dogs do (doo), her daily priority is finding a bed, couch or chair to sleep in for the next 16 hours. But as soon as we pull in the driveway and she hears those footsteps, she “jumps” off the coach and greets us at the door with her little knobby, stumpy tail wagging as hard as it can. And who doesn’t love to be greeted like that when they come home? 

Dogs certainly come with some downside in addition to the aforementioned costs. Depending on your breed they’ll most likely eat your shoes, your couch, and possibly your tax returns. In San Diego, I owned a Chocolate Lab named Guiness who clearly didn’t understand his “tail of mass destruction”. He’d walk into the living room and with one joyful wag, your Bud Light, the flower vase and your dignity were quickly felled to the floor. And although he never barked, I lived next door to a next-level barker. Wind? Bark! Skateboarder? Bark! Our neighbor thinking about their car keys? DEFCON 1 Bark! 

I’m not entirely sure this would count as negative or annoying, but Bogey has no concept of personal space, in fact, she’s a clinger! You move two inches? She panics like you’ve left home and joined the circus. And feel free to sit on the couch but just expect her to be sitting on your lap within seconds and jamming her wet nose and nostrils in your face. My favorite is taking my socks off after a round of golf…but I’ll save that for another newsletter.

Cats? As I mentioned before we had two: Pajamas and Slippers. A mother & daughter pair. I don’t think I was any older than 5 or 6. Funny thing though: I do remember Pajamas gave birth to Slippers shortly after we got her. The birds & the bees were not part of my vocabulary yet so I was definitely too young to question it. I thought Pajamas was pretty cool. She walked around the house like she owned it, played with us on her terms, caught a few rodents which she brought into the house and played with them like toys, and shedded….A LOT! 

I always hear cat fans say “dogs are too high-energy, cats are elegant, mysterious companions with more emotional depth than my husband(s)”. All I see is independent, clean, self-grooming ninjas. Of course cat lovers would say these are features, not bugs. But it’s okay to admit your furry little dictator is slightly evil. That’s part of the charm…I guess?

So, where do you stand? All pictures accepted.

P.S. If you own both a dog and a cat…you’re living in a sitcom. Godspeed